Ghosts, Guardian Angels, & Ancestry

Sometimes I think that my guardian angels are only ghosts of my ancestors. It's impossible to prove it, but well, that is what I think.

They somehow "know" what I do not "know" and they serve as guides and also help me avoid making more ape-like choices.

I can only sit and wonder in the mirror. I see different faces of different ancestors when I look at the mirror. Very odd, I know, but it's true.

Hopefully someday I will become a guardian angel too.

Ascension = Spiritual Actualization?

So, I've been thinking a lot about "enlightenment" lately. I've always held the assumption that all beings wanted to become "enlightened," but today I realized that this is not the case. Many people prefer to remain "darkened," for whatever reason. I find myself at peace with this today. I am not responsible for other people's choices or deep attachments to their lowest energies. I pray that they will someday find something that inspires them to let go.

Personally, I'm no where near "enlightenment," while I have had a series of mini awakenings throughout my life, I am not where I wish to be.

I still have a lot of negative energy that is holding me back.

I am still very afraid, hurt, and angry. I continue to struggle to let go... I hope to find the courage to feel my darkest emotions with great self-compassion so that I can let them outside of my being. I think a 24-hour crying session is waiting for me... not sure why, but I can cry for hours and hours, but every single time I do this, I notice a "divine-like" intervention. Maybe I am just crazy. @_@

Numbers: 10 & 11

Okay it is getting ridiculous how often I keep seeing #10 and #11 everywhere I turn. I know it is completely irrational and I have no other explanation for this other than a subconscious obsession with these numbers. For instance, whenever I turn to see what time it is, change channels, or look up particular things, the number 10 or 11 pop up. I keep seeing 10:10 and 11:11.

So, I looked up the symbolic meaning of both numbers to see if I can get some meaning out of these freaking numbers that haunt my life.

Meanings of #10: "completeness," "destiny,"perfection,"" "goodness," "perfection," and "truth."

Meanings of #11: "idealism," "intuitive," "visionary," "sensitive & emotional," "patience," "honesty," "secretive," "sin," "transgression," "invention," "congruency," "balance," "peace," and "light."

I like the meanings and they resonate with me... but are they true, or not? Who knows. I guess it is whatever you choose to believe and how you wish to interpret the numbers.

More words

More words: choose, mood, Dutch, beautiful, bowl, glass, forgot, buried, paper, away, class, flag, old, cool, hope, leave, son, Tom, habit, car, given, Australia, asleep, closer, energy, inside, rocky, shoulder, declared, and business.

Words of the day

So these are the words that popped up today: paper, felt, research, balloon, older (2x), community, appearance (2x), addition, religious, library, arrow, there's, alike, cannot, settle, Bob, actually, chemical, British, afraid, aid, prove, cover, order, outline, he (2x), arrive, score, arrangement, disease, entirely, swept, everyone, damage, finger, and Australia.

GRC: Words of the day

Here are today's words: fence, fat, dull, command, higher, east, Mark, Frank, Maria, oxygen, outer, Norway, France, near, characteristic, language, lucky (3x), lady, leg, glad, getting, fed.