Wake me up

I am asleep.
I can't figure out how to wake up.
I need to wake up.
If only someone would be kind enough to pinch me right now.

Ghosts, Guardian Angels, & Ancestry

Sometimes I think that my guardian angels are only ghosts of my ancestors. It's impossible to prove it, but well, that is what I think.

They somehow "know" what I do not "know" and they serve as guides and also help me avoid making more ape-like choices.

I can only sit and wonder in the mirror. I see different faces of different ancestors when I look at the mirror. Very odd, I know, but it's true.

Hopefully someday I will become a guardian angel too.

Ascension = Spiritual Actualization?

So, I've been thinking a lot about "enlightenment" lately. I've always held the assumption that all beings wanted to become "enlightened," but today I realized that this is not the case. Many people prefer to remain "darkened," for whatever reason. I find myself at peace with this today. I am not responsible for other people's choices or deep attachments to their lowest energies. I pray that they will someday find something that inspires them to let go.

Personally, I'm no where near "enlightenment," while I have had a series of mini awakenings throughout my life, I am not where I wish to be.

I still have a lot of negative energy that is holding me back.

I am still very afraid, hurt, and angry. I continue to struggle to let go... I hope to find the courage to feel my darkest emotions with great self-compassion so that I can let them outside of my being. I think a 24-hour crying session is waiting for me... not sure why, but I can cry for hours and hours, but every single time I do this, I notice a "divine-like" intervention. Maybe I am just crazy. @_@

Numbers: 10 & 11

Okay it is getting ridiculous how often I keep seeing #10 and #11 everywhere I turn. I know it is completely irrational and I have no other explanation for this other than a subconscious obsession with these numbers. For instance, whenever I turn to see what time it is, change channels, or look up particular things, the number 10 or 11 pop up. I keep seeing 10:10 and 11:11.

So, I looked up the symbolic meaning of both numbers to see if I can get some meaning out of these freaking numbers that haunt my life.

Meanings of #10: "completeness," "destiny,"perfection,"" "goodness," "perfection," and "truth."

Meanings of #11: "idealism," "intuitive," "visionary," "sensitive & emotional," "patience," "honesty," "secretive," "sin," "transgression," "invention," "congruency," "balance," "peace," and "light."

I like the meanings and they resonate with me... but are they true, or not? Who knows. I guess it is whatever you choose to believe and how you wish to interpret the numbers.

More words

More words: choose, mood, Dutch, beautiful, bowl, glass, forgot, buried, paper, away, class, flag, old, cool, hope, leave, son, Tom, habit, car, given, Australia, asleep, closer, energy, inside, rocky, shoulder, declared, and business.

Words of the day

So these are the words that popped up today: paper, felt, research, balloon, older (2x), community, appearance (2x), addition, religious, library, arrow, there's, alike, cannot, settle, Bob, actually, chemical, British, afraid, aid, prove, cover, order, outline, he (2x), arrive, score, arrangement, disease, entirely, swept, everyone, damage, finger, and Australia.

GRC: Words of the day

Here are today's words: fence, fat, dull, command, higher, east, Mark, Frank, Maria, oxygen, outer, Norway, France, near, characteristic, language, lucky (3x), lady, leg, glad, getting, fed.

Fun with the app

So, I'm 150% convinced that the "ghost" apps are totally fake, but they are still fun to play with. So these were today's words: Australia, Doctor, Famous, Depth (3x), Molecule, Pleasure, Heavy, About, and Saturday.

iPhone and Spirit Apps

Today I decided to download the following apps: ghost radar, italktothedead, and paranormal activity. These two apps are trippy shit! While they are meant for "entertainment purposes," it really is making me have second guesses about them. Download them and try them out yourself, and you be the judge!

So, I was bored in my office today at school and downloaded these apps. I always felt that the 3rd floor of my school building is haunted, so I was excited to test out my new free apps! So, I tried the paranormal activity one and it supposedly shows energetic flunctuations in one's environment and what it does is that it makes a sound detecting noise when there is "paranormal activity" going on. I am not convinced that this app is real, I think it's fake and too many other factors that can make this app make the sounds (e.g., computers, lights, radiation, etc.).

Then, I tried the italktothedead app and this is a scary app! So, there are instances when the screen turns all scratchy and there is a man with a deep voice that says things. He sounds just like a ghost on TV from those shows! So, some words that I picked up were "go" and "away," which were super creepy at first. I am skeptical about this app and not truly believe that it's actually true. It's probably a recording, but who knows?

Then, I tried the last app which is called "ghost radar" and this app is supposed to allow ghosts to write a word to talk to you and this also shows the "ghost" as a dot of energy around you. Let me say that this is the funnest app ever and I love it!!! So, there are multiple colored dots that pop up. The RED one means that there is a ghost or ball of energy with a lot of energy near you. The YELLOW one means it has a little less energy than the RED one. The GREEN one means it has low energy. The BLUE one means it has the lowest amount of energy. Well, there was a blue ball popping up near me and then there were two red dots that popped up. The dots kept moving around also appearing and disappearing once again. I thought it was a joke at first. Then, two balls popped up together. Then, I heard it. It said "Ben" and then "Frank." I talked with it with my mind lol, so I asked it what it wanted. So here are the words that it said as I was asking "it" questions using my mind. Here are the words that "it" gave me to "communicate" with me: Everything, Energy, Shelf, Balance, Europe, France, Industrial, One, Dog, Dr., Skin, Concerned, Certainly, Mississippi, Machinery, Cotton, Belt, Fill, Brain, Proper, Pass, Freedom, Higher, Purpose, Decide (2x different instances), Certain, Complex, Eight, Bigger, Dad (2x), Meal, How, Happen, Frequently, Unknown, Dull, Cold, Pilot, Furniture, Stay, Carry, And, Elements, Is, My, Broad, Join, and Action. Now, I always show up early for the classes that I teach.... so today when I taught at a different building I turned this App to see if it worked outside of my office and the word "Course" popped up. Now, I am not sure if this is a coincidence that I was about to teach a course, or if it is just random. Hehehe... it sure gives us something to think about.

I am having a blast with these cool words. I will try to make sense of them. Not sure if this app is total B. S., but if it is, it is still totally fun! I'm going to keep playing with the app to see if I find anything, or if something finds me? Now, if I attempt to make sense of these words it will only mean that it is just me making meaning out of them and not what was probably intended by the "ghost" or whatever "it" is.

So, here is a list of the words that might have some relevancy to the office or myself:

1. There is a picture of "Europe/France" on the wall because there is a map in the office.
2. I also just had a "meal" (lunch) right before entering the office.
3. I need a belt "belt" because my clothes are not fitting "properly" even if I don't like belts. In terms of balance, I do study work/life "balance" too lol. There is "furniture" in my office. Shawna has a picture of her husband in the office who is a "pilot."
4. I've always had issues with my "skin"
5. I do want to have the letters "Dr." someday next to my name
6. There is a "shelf" next to my desk.
7. I do try to "fill" my "brain" when I am at school.
8. I always wonder "how" things "happen"
9. I've been to "Mississippi"
10. I was born in November "eight"
11. I do believe everything is "one"
12. I was wearing a "cotton" shirt
13. I do want to find out what my "higher purpose" is
14. I need to "decide" something
15. I wish to "pass" all of my classes this semester
16. I need "action"
17. I do believe that "everything" is "energy"

So, that is all the connections that I can make with the words revealed by IT. I can't wait to use this app again and see what other words pop up. I will post from now on for every session that I run this app when I get really bored.

I will say this.......... I LOVE this new ghost hunting game. It's so much fun! :-)

Spirits & Me

I decided to write a blog about my paranormal experiences. I've had several since I was a child, but they are starting to happen once again. I like to fall in the camp of physics that says that everything is a form of energy and for this reason I do believe in the spiritual world. This world is an endless mystery. I am interested in it because it chooses to unwrap itself to me. I always had spiritual companions throughout my life. Some of them relatives and others strangers. Either way I feel fascinated by the spiritual world and one's ability to communicate with it. I will write personal thoughts about this phenomenon and try to make sense of why I am attracted to the spiritual realm.